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Better late than never! Also, I finally remembered my Dreamwidth password! Woooo! Back to blogging.
It's been... a crazy period. To put it mildly.
I celebrated Imbolc in an empty dining room in the new apartment - my husband was in the next state over with his mom, my own mom was watching my son at the old apartment. I found some flowers in the suburban neighborhood where my son's daycare is; I used milk for the libation. (Couldn't find local, as farmer's market was not active yet, but I did at least get organic.) I draped the little table with a blue towel and shoved all the boxes out of the way. I lit every candle I owned and put them on the kitchen counter. I still had to read the text out of the book.
At least this time - in the quiet, in the peace of the otherwise empty place - the goddess did visit. Ana, in my vision, was extremely round, somewhere between a fertility goddess and a circle. She floated off the ground, looming higher than me. Her "head" if you can call it that was three circles, a larger one and then two smaller ones sort of blobbed onto the sides. (More like an atom than Mickey Mouse.)
I prayed to her and then she spoke quite clearly to me: "Now, enough of that--go back and do what you need to do." It wasn't quite a blunt as the words come across, but the message was unmistakable. Her presence vanished so quickly I didn't even need to resolve the energy back into the earth. I blew out the candles and went back home, and did what I needed to do.
My husband ended up having to spend a week in a psych hold, and then spent another two weeks doing an outpatient program. It was a textbook mental breakdown - thankfully nothing more. I held down my job, took care of my child (with my mom's help) and moved us out of the old place and into the new one. My husband came home, and slowly... we calmed down, and started to rebuild our life.
Alban Eiler was, I believe, held the exact week they finally lifted the mask mandate in Oregon. I was a bit shaky that week - finding it hard to believe that after two years of all this supreme nonsense we could finally... walk in the door of public places without covering our faces. But it was over, and at least at this point it hasn't come back.
This time, the ceremony was public - held in a park with the small Druid church that I celebrated the solstice with last year. My heart almost broke when I couldn't attend their winter solstice potluck, when I had to do an early family Christmas instead... Full disclosure, we were rushing around that morning and I came late to the ceremony. But I put on my robes and rushed in to join the circle anyway. The elements were saluted and then we built a fire together, and had a potluck. It was so nice to just... talk to people. People who weren't afraid of anything. People who were doing OK. When we closed the circle, I felt the energy rushing back to the Earth so strongly it made me dizzy.
Great news - they're going to do a Beltane meeting too! :) No ritual, however, so I'll be doing that one at home I think. I just bought some local elderflower cider to use for the libation. I'll probably do that one in the dining room as well... but now it will be a dining room in a lived-in home, with the scent of a garden wafting in through the back door.
I can't wait.
It's been... a crazy period. To put it mildly.
I celebrated Imbolc in an empty dining room in the new apartment - my husband was in the next state over with his mom, my own mom was watching my son at the old apartment. I found some flowers in the suburban neighborhood where my son's daycare is; I used milk for the libation. (Couldn't find local, as farmer's market was not active yet, but I did at least get organic.) I draped the little table with a blue towel and shoved all the boxes out of the way. I lit every candle I owned and put them on the kitchen counter. I still had to read the text out of the book.
At least this time - in the quiet, in the peace of the otherwise empty place - the goddess did visit. Ana, in my vision, was extremely round, somewhere between a fertility goddess and a circle. She floated off the ground, looming higher than me. Her "head" if you can call it that was three circles, a larger one and then two smaller ones sort of blobbed onto the sides. (More like an atom than Mickey Mouse.)
I prayed to her and then she spoke quite clearly to me: "Now, enough of that--go back and do what you need to do." It wasn't quite a blunt as the words come across, but the message was unmistakable. Her presence vanished so quickly I didn't even need to resolve the energy back into the earth. I blew out the candles and went back home, and did what I needed to do.
My husband ended up having to spend a week in a psych hold, and then spent another two weeks doing an outpatient program. It was a textbook mental breakdown - thankfully nothing more. I held down my job, took care of my child (with my mom's help) and moved us out of the old place and into the new one. My husband came home, and slowly... we calmed down, and started to rebuild our life.
Alban Eiler was, I believe, held the exact week they finally lifted the mask mandate in Oregon. I was a bit shaky that week - finding it hard to believe that after two years of all this supreme nonsense we could finally... walk in the door of public places without covering our faces. But it was over, and at least at this point it hasn't come back.
This time, the ceremony was public - held in a park with the small Druid church that I celebrated the solstice with last year. My heart almost broke when I couldn't attend their winter solstice potluck, when I had to do an early family Christmas instead... Full disclosure, we were rushing around that morning and I came late to the ceremony. But I put on my robes and rushed in to join the circle anyway. The elements were saluted and then we built a fire together, and had a potluck. It was so nice to just... talk to people. People who weren't afraid of anything. People who were doing OK. When we closed the circle, I felt the energy rushing back to the Earth so strongly it made me dizzy.
Great news - they're going to do a Beltane meeting too! :) No ritual, however, so I'll be doing that one at home I think. I just bought some local elderflower cider to use for the libation. I'll probably do that one in the dining room as well... but now it will be a dining room in a lived-in home, with the scent of a garden wafting in through the back door.
I can't wait.