Daily div.
2 June 2021 22:22![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sh1njuk1Welp... I can't predict the events to save my life... but the cards, they do align.
Of course the Me card for today was Death. And - it was correct. I wrote a THIRD reflection on my interactions with the protests in Portland last summer, and sent it to JMG as a private message. No more need, FINALLY, to go into that much of a fourth - I have now spent over 24 hours aggressively processing what I now recognize as a big lump of trauma from just one, just ONE, of the many events of 2020 that came at me at approximately 1000 miles an hour, and completely reshaped my view of the world and my role in it. One I even kind of forgot about until JMG brought it (and all the trauma) right back up, lol!
[Deleted upon further reflection. I made a promise that I would write no more about it, and take on no further karma from last year's events. And so, I will not. Moving on! :)]
I've used JMG and his blog copiously to get me through this mini-crisis, and now that it's over, I'm a bit embarrassed about that. But - I'm literally converting to the dude's religion! He owes me a freebie!! And of course, I won't post anything else on any of his blogs for the next indefinite period of time. But I've managed both to process the whole trauma in a single lump, and not to hold a grudge against the guy who deeply, but also Aspergers-ly, insulted my honor while I was undergoing that. That's **great**. That's the power of the Death card.
Also... it was good to take him down a peg in my esteem. He's just a person, who can be an asshole like any other. He's not my friend. He's not even my guru, not really - he's more of a doorway, through which I can walk, and finally get started on the work I am meant to do in this lifetime. And that's more than enough.
The King of Diamonds - I ended up finding happiness in my spirituality, by overcoming the first serious challenge to it (I even declared my honesty before the gods, and asked to be cursed if I told a single lie, and with great effort, I finally told my story with **searing** self-honesty) and celebrated by finally adding a second element to my daily SOP. It's been an entire month since I added the first... I'm honestly wondering if there was THAT much crud in my mental world, that I had to banish off, before I could manage to memorize what was - honestly - not that much text.
The Queen of Diamonds - wow - I did achieve, through all this, a bond between the internal and external. A fusion of two parts of me, the liberal-leaning woman raised in Portland, and the rational mind I have spent so many years cultivating telling me that it was time to move on from that. And so I am.
Honestly this is almost creepy. But - I am so grateful to my cards, for guiding me so well through this part of my life. And it's been... a week? A week! A week 0_0
Uh... let's do tomorrow's, huh?
Me: The Hierophant - Tradition, Spiritual Authority, Deception
Situation: 6 of Clubs (The Tower) - A Revelation or Drastic Shift in Perspective
Outcome: 9 of Clubs (The Sun) - Clarity, Simplicity, New Life
Hoo boy. Well... I am not going to work too hard at predictions just yet... I will try to fall to the tradition/spiritual authority side and not the deception side (though I need to apply for jobs tomorrow, so who knows?), I will keep my mind open in preparation for the Tower - not all my revelations I've had have been terrible, many have been quite the opposite, so this could be the same - and I very much like the outcome. Will it be connected to the Tower event, or will it just be "Megan cooks a nice dinner from that Mennonite cookbook"? I guess we'll find out!
Of course the Me card for today was Death. And - it was correct. I wrote a THIRD reflection on my interactions with the protests in Portland last summer, and sent it to JMG as a private message. No more need, FINALLY, to go into that much of a fourth - I have now spent over 24 hours aggressively processing what I now recognize as a big lump of trauma from just one, just ONE, of the many events of 2020 that came at me at approximately 1000 miles an hour, and completely reshaped my view of the world and my role in it. One I even kind of forgot about until JMG brought it (and all the trauma) right back up, lol!
[Deleted upon further reflection. I made a promise that I would write no more about it, and take on no further karma from last year's events. And so, I will not. Moving on! :)]
I've used JMG and his blog copiously to get me through this mini-crisis, and now that it's over, I'm a bit embarrassed about that. But - I'm literally converting to the dude's religion! He owes me a freebie!! And of course, I won't post anything else on any of his blogs for the next indefinite period of time. But I've managed both to process the whole trauma in a single lump, and not to hold a grudge against the guy who deeply, but also Aspergers-ly, insulted my honor while I was undergoing that. That's **great**. That's the power of the Death card.
Also... it was good to take him down a peg in my esteem. He's just a person, who can be an asshole like any other. He's not my friend. He's not even my guru, not really - he's more of a doorway, through which I can walk, and finally get started on the work I am meant to do in this lifetime. And that's more than enough.
The King of Diamonds - I ended up finding happiness in my spirituality, by overcoming the first serious challenge to it (I even declared my honesty before the gods, and asked to be cursed if I told a single lie, and with great effort, I finally told my story with **searing** self-honesty) and celebrated by finally adding a second element to my daily SOP. It's been an entire month since I added the first... I'm honestly wondering if there was THAT much crud in my mental world, that I had to banish off, before I could manage to memorize what was - honestly - not that much text.
The Queen of Diamonds - wow - I did achieve, through all this, a bond between the internal and external. A fusion of two parts of me, the liberal-leaning woman raised in Portland, and the rational mind I have spent so many years cultivating telling me that it was time to move on from that. And so I am.
Honestly this is almost creepy. But - I am so grateful to my cards, for guiding me so well through this part of my life. And it's been... a week? A week! A week 0_0
Uh... let's do tomorrow's, huh?
Me: The Hierophant - Tradition, Spiritual Authority, Deception
Situation: 6 of Clubs (The Tower) - A Revelation or Drastic Shift in Perspective
Outcome: 9 of Clubs (The Sun) - Clarity, Simplicity, New Life
Hoo boy. Well... I am not going to work too hard at predictions just yet... I will try to fall to the tradition/spiritual authority side and not the deception side (though I need to apply for jobs tomorrow, so who knows?), I will keep my mind open in preparation for the Tower - not all my revelations I've had have been terrible, many have been quite the opposite, so this could be the same - and I very much like the outcome. Will it be connected to the Tower event, or will it just be "Megan cooks a nice dinner from that Mennonite cookbook"? I guess we'll find out!