sh1njuk1

First things first: I find it incredibly difficult to do writing anywhere aside from my work desk. So off hours posts such as this one, may be cut short.

While attempting to do my book review (and being constantly interrupted by my dad, the cat, the pain in my back from attempting to do work anywhere in this fucking house which is not my work desk) I came to realize that I was not being quite honest with myself.

I have already had a revelation.

It came in the way it would always have had to for me - quietly, while I was writing a SQL query alone at my desk and distractedly thinking through a new narrative. It was not a thunderclap, not even an "aha!" but just.. an "ah".

Anything else, I suppose, I would have been too suspicious of.

I am not the type of person who likes to take a bunch of drugs, or cry/scream in front of other people, or make a big show out of what I know/can do (well, at least not on social media). I don't like to hurry through things, or take obvious shortcuts. So it came to me quietly, logically... mundanely. The same way I intake most of my knowledge.

What came to me was a structure - a method, and a cosmology, that encompasses everything.

By everything... well... I mean all religions, all spirituality, all science, all philosophy, all politics, all ethics, all sins, all suffering, all ecstasies and the entirety of human nature. That sort of thing.

I've been poking at it, as I do - taking it out and kicking the tires. So far, everything I've held up to it has fit. In fact... through this lens... I can see each scenario, or concept, in a whole new light, as if it's been reintroduced to me.

I should give Mr. Greer credit as well, because it's in contemplating his own cosmological beliefs that this one came to me. I'm not sure if I see things exactly the same way as him, but... there will be time - all the time in the world - to confirm.

How to write about it - can I write about it? Well... let's try.

The mechanism is two-fold: first, the concept of multiple lives per the same "soul". I put the words in quotes, but soul is a perfectly acceptable term, though I am not referring to every aspect Christianity has infused into it. Second, the existence of "karma".

"Karma" should perhaps keep quotes around it - even though I won't be putting myself out that way - as I really cannot claim to have a full understanding of that term in its original culture. I am using it here, again, as a "good-enough" term for my mechanism, that almost everyone in my culture will understand instinctively.

First, a soul arrives. It does not matter how - that is something we can never know. It is something separate from the biological process of your DNA combining to make your physical, animal body. I see it, in fact, as an overtaking of that process - an "adding". We were animals, are still animals, and yet - something else is there.

I have no opinion on whether or not other animals are also ensouled, or entangled in this process in any way - I know that Hindu/Buddhist culture believes them to be so. But I have no evidence one way or the other, and don't believe that it matters much.

As the top predator of our ecosystem, arguably the top predator of any ecosystem, we stand astride the food chain with some pretensions of control. This means we enjoy freedom of action, relatively, that other animals cannot even conceive of. Also, we are a species which must collaboratively interact with others who have as much free will as we do. I suspect, for the record, that is why we were... chosen? Is that the word I want to use? I suppose, at this point, I will.

That soul, then, lives its life. (Mr. Greer would say, "on the material plane" here.) As a human, it makes choices constantly - to support its own life, but also to interact with that of others.

Some of its choices benefit only itself. Some of its choices are ripped away from it by the desires of others. Some of its choices can benefit itself *and* others, but neither perfectly. Some of its choices are seemingly the right one for right now, but leave huge problems down the road. In short, choices are incredibly hard to make correctly, but come along constantly.

The new soul has only a very few hard-to-use tools in order to figure out what is "correct" - and, accordingly, it doesn't do too well. One tool, perhaps even the main tool, is what we call the "conscience". This is the little "voice" (it does not feel like a voice to me, but eh, convention) that can prick at us when we make a choice and take an action, or no action - a feeling that what we did wasn't quite right. Some people have no conscience - sociopaths - and in this cosmology, most would be brand new souls. Some people are absolutely crippled by conscience - it tortures them, makes them almost unable to live in this world - and I would count them as middle-aged souls. And some people hear their conscience loud and clear at all times, and follow it, making their life choices in accordance with it. They are old souls.

Many, perhaps even most, are not able to orient themselves in life by their conscience. They need other, outside guidance. This is where the religious and spiritual traditions of each culture come in. They not only guide, but they instruct. Because... souls don't spend just one life here.

Reincarnation is a fact. I've typed that and erased it a few times, but hey, let's be spiritual in a spiritual blog eh? Because - it was the revelation, so to speak. Each of "us" lives many, many, many, many lives here.

I think... I have lived more than a few here, myself. But - let's save that for later.

Now, reincarnation is considered to be the the truth of existence by (probably) the majority of human beings on Earth - I think even Americans, though they might deny they believe in it if directly asked, make enough jokes and references to it that it's almost a Freudian slip. Something so consistently noted across human societies inevitably has something to it.

So, the soul is reincarnated. New body, new situation, same... Mr. Greer says "character" and I think that's what blew my mind wide open. No, not like you can remember exactly what you did before in a past life, necessarily - though some claim to be able to, I won't contradict that, I'm more than a little terrified that the moment I sit down to intentionally do so, I will immediately be served them piping hot - but that you keep the same set of responses from your past life to problems, namely, to choices. It's all about choices.

Because, each and every one of those choices sets off the the all-important mechanism, which acts as methodically and repetitively as... well... a machine. Namely, karma.

Most people are familiar with karma as a cause-and-effect mechanism within this lifetime. Bully others and get bullied, that sort of thing. The revelation is that karma isn't a within-one-lifetime thing. It's a **multiple life-time** thing. What you selfishly, or foolishly, do in one lifetime, you inevitably have to pay for in another. Perhaps even in many, many, many others.

One of the most urgent moral needs of humankind, is that of justice. When we see a horrible action, one which pricks our consciences, we immediately cry for justice, justice! If it was an action committed against us, that's unsurprising. But we easily extend this to actions committed against others, as well. The best of us even extend it as a right to our enemies. When we feel that justice was not performed - even reading about an event reported from thousands of years ago - the perceived lack deeply bothers us. Or... perhaps that's just me.

The wonderful thing, maybe even the best thing about this revelation, is the realization that justice is perfect. In that way, of course, it is both wonderful and horrible - wonderful when you realize it is totally coming to that guy who just cut you off in traffic; horrible when you apply this universal principle to your own life. To me, at this point in my life, I feel only relief. Yes, universal judgment please and thank you! I will take what I deserve, and be glad (on some level) to do it. My conscience is bearable yet heavy. But... it's supposed to be.

Many, perhaps most people, envy Jeff Bezos. But... think about how much karma those trillion dollars have loaded upon his poor - yes, poor, unimaginably poor - soul.

Starvation is going to make a global come back in a big way this century. And, well... Jeff is going to get the experience of starving to death for want of resources more times than most other souls. As is deserved. As is his karma.

Probably all modern Americans will be served in turn this experience at least a few times hence. Horrible! Wonderful! Clarifying!!

The perfect life - the final life, if and when it comes - is probably that in which all incurred karma can, and is, paid back within that lifetime. Only a truly vast wisdom, such as cannot come from books or culture or from any single-lifetime level of knowledge, can manage this feat.

As I've been dancing around, I guess, more out of trying to clarify each concept instead of hiding anything for a reveal... we are here, on this Earth, on this plane, to learn something. To become something. To develop.

It takes us a long, long time - multiple lifetimes - and perhaps some never manage it. But that is why we're here. It's the purpose of life.

Not the biological purpose, which is of course something entirely different. It's the other thing - the thing people are asking about when they say "What's the point of it all?"

And as for the exact thing we are here to learn... well... of course it's not common knowledge! Because once you learn it - once you REALLY learn it - you're outta here. You're on to whatever comes next.

I think, if you sift through the great works of religion and art and literature and memoir, you can find bits and pieces of it recorded there. I think souls figure out some parts of it sooner than others, and that each soul takes a completely unique journey through space and time.

I suspect that the only way to learn/progress, however, is direct personal experience.

In other words, if you read a piece of wisdom - like the saying "do not steal" or similar - and you immediately understand it, that means that you were stolen from in a past life, felt the loss and pain of it, recognized in turn that it meant you should not steal from others, and successfully enacted that principle in your own life. That knowledge traveled with you as part of your toolkit, so to speak, to your next life. That's an incredibly simple example, but can be extrapolated from there.

You can regress, too - I have no doubt many souls choose to do so, for a million possible reasons - but the bow of karma merely pulls back again in turn. Action triggers reaction. Justice is always perfect.

A soul which refuses to progress is stuck in the loop of karma forever. This is what is meant by Hell.

I'm quite tired, but let me wrap up with this (I'm sure there will be more posts on this topic). Progress, of the type I'm describing, is hard - excruciatingly hard. Few choices have simple answers. Subtle changes in circumstances change which action is most correct, in ways that defy categorization. It's easy to fuck up - in fact, you almost certainly will. Suffering is an unavoidable aspect of life.

In fact, suffering is another tool, just like conscience. Confused about where you need to go next, to continue doing the essential work of this lifetime? Well... what hurts?

That, I think, is the message garbled of the traditional Christian sects, which they deliver somewhat badly - but is there any way to deliver it goodly? Suffering is not just an unavoidable part of life - it is your guide, your dark compass. Go towards it to make progress. Do not pass Go, do not collect $100.

Only through enduring, and passing through, suffering, can you gain the personal experience that will allow your soul to remember that aspect of the truth.

There is more... it's all connected, as the gurus say... but I really do have to call it for tonight.

More on this as it feel appropriate to post.